Monday, November 23, 2009

Oh Glucola, How I Hate Thee


What you are looking at is 10 ounces of pure hell. I know it looks all cute and innocent in its miniature bottle of what appears to be orange soda. Don't be fooled. It is nausea inducing on its first sip. This is what they use to test for gestational diabetes during pregnancy, and I swear it is the worst thing about being pregnant.

General knowledge will tell you, being nauseous comes with the territory during the 10 months (don't let them fool you telling you pregnancy is 9 months...40 weeks/4= 10 months, not 9) of pregnancy, but then they throw this little curve ball in to make things more interesting. Alone, the beverage wouldn't be completely horrible, it's just all the extra stipulations that make the test torturous.

We are already nauseous constantly to begin with, then they make you fast for 12 hours, so you have to take this crap on an empty stomach. When you take the first sip, you begin to wonder how you will make it through the rest of the bottle. This is when the receptionist takes the opportunity to lean over the counter to remind you that you have only 5 minutes to finish it off and if you throw up you will have to come back another day and try again. Determined, you have flash backs of college frat parties, and just chug the rest while praying it doesn't come straight back up as the bottle leaves your lips.

Once you are finished, you must then wait an hour while still not eating (okay, hungry preggo at this point is STARVING)or drinking anything to wash the nastiness out of your mouth, while vowing never to drink another orange soda again. Last comes the bloodwork. By this point pregnancy nausea, empty stomach nausea, and glucola nausea are all trumped by needle nausea. Needles and I are not friends, but I have made it this far, so there is no turning back. I will not throw up. I will not throw up.

SUCCESS!!

I am now praying I passed. If not, I am supposed to go back to the doctor for the 3 hour version of the same test, for triple the fun. I have already decided I am SO not doing it if I fail. (I know, I am every doctors dream patient...)

1 comment:

NHmommy said...

good times..mine's on the 2nd. yipee. i dont have to fast though, weird. i had the three hour with my first son, so not cool.